By 

Where Healing Begins


This is an anonymous guest post.

Whenever I’m ill, I panic. Google search bar is opened and I start manically diagnosing myself…

Yet for most of my life I had the worst disease; a cancer growing daily, a hardened heart, blinded eyes, deaf ears, a head filled with distorted ideas, thoughts and images. I had the worst disease leading to death and I didn’t care.

The diagnosis; detachment from God.

Gradually, as with any disease, the symptoms build up.

I prayed everyday; an ‘Our Father’ was rushed before I went to bed ‘just in case God existed so I wouldn’t be condemned to hell’. I went to Church too, that made me feel like a good person – although bowing down my head for prayer was actually me power napping.

I was regularly speaking badly of the ones I say ‘I love’ – the ones I would compliment when I’d see…

…and tried and no surprise failed to find security in another person, making them my god…

…and conformed to what everyone else did and tried to mould myself and force the things my friends and the media said was fun to be the things I’d find fun too. And and and… the list continues. The sins covered me but I wasn’t ashamed. I was proud of them. I’d distanced myself from the God who was always there and still is. I didn’t need Him, I didn’t care about Him. I was spiritually dead.

But My God never died for the healthy. My God says;
“Why should you be beaten anymore?
Why do you persist in rebellion?
Your whole head is injured,
your whole heart afflicted.
From the sole of your foot to the top of your head
there is no soundness –
only wounds and bruises
and open sores,
not cleansed or bandaged
or soothed with oil.”

Where sin increased, grace increased even more. My God is a doctor like no other. To cleanse and heal me from the sin that had become embedded in me, He was bruised and wounded. There on His cross did Jesus display His power and strength. You see, the world defines power differently; it’s about being the best you can be at the expense of others, rising above others. God’s definition is to deny Himself and enter a broken world, to show them how to live, then be tortured and die to restore those who needed restoring but didn’t deserve such. He still continues to do so today, transforming people who are just existing to people who are living, the sick to the healthy.

But when a doctor gives a patient medicine, it is ultimately their responsibility to choose to take it and get better;

“I was sought by those who did not ask for Me;
I was found by those who did not seek Me.
I said, ‘Here I am, here I am’

Jesus is always there, arms wide open, saying ‘here I am’ respecting our choice. He is ready for you to run to Him as you are in your filth and emptiness. He does not demand your lengthy prayers or your perfect church attendance first – just you.

He created you to love you.

In Him you find every need fulfilled and even more so; your desire for companionship, to be known and loved is only made complete in Him.

In Him you find a father holding your hand, carrying you throughout all your days, laughing with you and wiping your tears.

In Him you find richness, a kind that makes everything you once treasured appear worthless.

In Him you find hope, a kind that can laugh at the days to come, look forward to the future and even desire the inevitable death of the body because you know that’s when you will see your King and saviour all the more clearly.

Discover that for yourself.

I Choose Jesus. I Choose life.

“I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live”
Deuteronomy 30:19
BFA Team
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