Baba, Lord, my King and my God – Jesus Christ my hope:

If there was ever a time that I made You smile, if there was ever a time when You called me Your beloved son, if there was ever a time that I found favor in Your sight… then hear these words Lord. Hear me now.

I need You to save me. “Behold, the LORD’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear².” You promised to save me.³ I can’t do this without You.⁴ I can barely stand in the battle⁵, much less win the war.

You told me, “My son, give me your heart”⁶ … it’s Yours.

You said “do not be afraid, only believe”⁷… I believe Lord, help my unbelief!!!⁸

You promised that you’d never let go of me… that You’d always be there for me.⁹ Manifest Yourself to me. I want to feel Your presence and witness Your saving grace.¹⁰

How long oh Lord, how long must I wrestle with my thoughts and everyday have sorrow in my heart?¹¹ Look to me and see my anguish and deliver me for Your names sake. I am poor. I am needy; I need you.

Teach me to trust in You… to love You more. To see Your hand working when everything seems lost.. when all seems desperately hopeless.

I want to show You my obedience so that You know that I love You.¹² As You know and as You will.. have mercy, according to Your tender mercies which are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth or my rebellious ways.. but in Your great love.. remember me.¹³

“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.”¹⁴ Let it not be so my Lord Jesus… let it not be so. By Your grace; by Your strength.

Give me to fight the good fight of faith that I may lay hold on eternal life!¹⁵ Let me not trade the Kingdom for a thought not pleasing to Your goodness.

Open my eyes and teach me; help me realize how much I’m hurting You… how much I’m hurting myself.

I desire purity of heart.. so that I may see You¹⁶.. so that I may touch You .. and know You more.

I don’t want to be like every other great man of faith who fell to this one sin. “She has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men.”¹⁷ If that is the case Lord than what of me?!

If David fell with Bathsheba¹⁸, if Sampson gave into Delilah¹⁹, if the wisest man on earth, King Solomon, gave his heart to foreign women and eventually turned his heart away from the One True God²⁰, if Elijah ran from Jezebel because he believed that she had power to destroy him even though You were protecting him²¹, than what of me! The weak, the feeble, the heartbroken.

Come Lord and give me the strength to fight this battle. Give me a passion for You.. to struggle.. to overcome.. to be purified!! I need Your help. I need You to motivate me to overcome.²² I want to love You more Lord. I pray that You don’t take the war away, but that You instead allow me to be victorious.²³ I want You to be so proud of me.

-Your Beloved²⁴

¹ 2 Corinthians 2:10
² Isaiah 59:1
³ Romans 10:13
⁴ John 15:5
⁵ Ephesians 6:11
⁶ Proverbs 23:26
⁷ Mark 5:36
⁸ Mark 9:23-24
⁹ Deuteronomy 31:6
¹⁰ 2 Corinthians 6:2
¹¹ Psalm 13:2
¹² John 14:15
¹³ Psalm 25:7
¹⁴ Romans 7:15
¹⁵ 1 Timothy 6:12
¹⁶ Matthew 5:8
¹⁷ Proverbs 7:26
¹⁸ 2 Samuel 11
¹⁹ Judges 16
²⁰ 1 Kings 11:4-8
²¹ 1 Kings 19
²² Psalm 51:12
²³ Romans 8:37
²⁴ John 13:23