Dear Future Wife
Dear Future Wife,
This is my love letter to you. I don’t know who you are or whether I’ve met you or not. I haven’t yet stared into your glistening eyes or ran my hands through your beautiful hair. I don’t know what type of music you’re into or what you like to do in your spare time. I don’t even know if you like Nando’s (oh God, please like Nando’s) or if you’re as obsessed with animals as I am. There’s so much I don’t know about you, and I look forward to that season of discovery, but there is one thing I’m sure of about you.
I know you love Jesus. I know that you love Him deeply. So many people may think I’m crazy for being so sure about that, but haters gone hate and potatoes gone potate, right?! When I read this to you one day; maybe on our tenth date, when I’m down on one knee, or on our wedding day, I know that you’ll hear these words and it’ll all make complete sense to you.
When I turned twenty-one, a friend of mine jokingly told me “it’s time to start praying for a wife now”, and though I could hear the room echo with joyous laughter, the loudest sound I heard that evening was the Holy Spirit’s whisper, piercing my heart, convicting me to pray for you from that moment on until the day we wed. So open your ears and listen as I utter a prayer for you my beloved;
I pray for my beautiful wife-to-be. As I approach you I’m very aware that it is your precious daughter that I’m talking about here, and I know that no-one will ever begin to love her and protect her as you do, not even I Lord, and I thank you for that. I pray for her walk with you Lord; that you would continue to reveal yourself to her in this moment as you’ve done in the past. When she falls, stretch out your hand and lift her from the depths of Sheol onto your holy mountain. For you delight in showing mercy O Lord, and mercy triumphs over judgement. When she thirsts for you in a dry and barren land, quench her with droplets of your living water Lord. When her heart is overwhelmed and filled with despair I pray that you O Holy Spirit, who reminds us of all that you have said, would remind her of the promises that you so gracefully gifted her with through your holy Word. Bring to her remembrance O Lord that for as long as she hopes in you, she will never be put to shame.
I pray for the purity of her heart Lord; guard her, shield her and encamp her with your holy angels, that she may meet with you face to face all the days of her life. When the enemy viciously attacks her, desiring to tear her to shreds, may the earth be shaken and may it tremble as you, O Lord, thunder from heaven and draw her out of many waters. Deliver her from her strong enemy. I pray that just as you’re guiding me through a spiritual journey of self discovery and awareness, that you would hold her hand tightly today and walk beside her on the road to liberty, where healing and renewal collide. Finally O Lord, I pray from the depths of my heart that you would make known to her your deep, unfiltered, raw love for her. Because you O beautiful Father don’t give your heart in pieces. You don’t hide yourself to tease us.
Beloved, though I know not who you are, today I proclaim my everlasting love for you. I believe that Love is an active choice, and from today til we dance to the melodies sung by the cherubim and the seraphim for all eternity in the presence of our Creator, I actively choose to love you. I speak not of trivial ‘hollywood-style’ love where our eyes meet and we fall head-over-heels ‘in love’ with one another. No, my love. I pray that I can love you with the true love of the Trinity. A wild love that isn’t shy, but is proud to be seen with you. A love that is uncontrolled and uncontained; a fire burning bright for you. I want to love you with a love that is not fractured, not anxious and not passive. For true love keeps its promises, it keeps its word. It honors what’s sacred because its vows are good. I desire to love you with a love that is not broken, not insecure. Not selfish, but pure.
Yes, that is how I desire to love you. I want to be able to give you every part of me whenever, wherever, however you desire. But I’d be a liar if I promised you that. Though I desire to gift you with the perfection you deserve, I fall short. I cannot promise to be your Prince Charming or Knight in Shining Armour. I cannot promise to possess all the incredible qualities that you see in your earthly father or heavenly Father. I cannot promise to lead you on smooth paths all the days of your life. I cannot even promise that I’ll be a husband you’re proud of in every season. The thing is my love, I’m an imperfect, broken man, in dirty rags, leaning on his Saviour. There is an old man within me, tirelessly waging war against me, daily.
You see, I can’t be all that you desire for yourself, but there is One who is preferred before me, whose sandal strap I am not worthy to loose; and He is worthy of your love and affection. One who rejoices over you with singing, who remains faithful even in your unfaithfulness, who is willing to give up everything to gain your love and who is secure enough to remain unchanged from the beginning til the end. The Lord God Almighty, the Lord is His name. El-Elyon (God Creator and Possessor of All Things), Jehovah-Mekoddishkem (The Lord Who Makes You Holy), Jehovah-Rophe (The Lord Who Heals You). You see, as a man I will always fail to love you the way you deserve to be loved. But, praise God! For “the Holy Spirit stands in the same relation to my soul as air stands in relation to my body” St. John of Kronstadt. For as long as the Holy Spirit dwells within me, I am able to love you through Him; and His love is perfect. Therefore seek Him and not I. Seek Him wholeheartedly. So that even when I stand before you as a shattered mirror, in a thousand pieces, your reflection is not distorted. Lay your identity, your whole being, in Him, for He alone is whole forever and ever. I will strive with all my being to be present for you spiritually, emotionally and physically but I will fall short. However kingdoms come and kingdoms fade, but He remains. Ages pass and seasons change, but always He remains the same.
Dear Future Wife, I pray that we would learn to accept each other, striving not to alter one another to fit into the boxes we constructed for ourselves long ago, with our skewed visions of an ideal spouse. I pray that the Lord would work within us from now to teach us what it means to love each other unconditionally, despite our shortcomings and weaknesses; to live out 1 Corinthians 13 daily. I pray that as we grow old and wrinkly I may remain madly in love with My Lord within you, and that you may love Your Saviour within me.
Til we meet.