Letters To The Broken Hearted I

“You never need to apologize
for how you chose to survive.” 
― Clementine von Radics

To those who have ever loved,

To those who have ever lost,

To those who have never forgotten.

This is for the broken ones who have learnt the lessons of love and faith the hard way; even in imperfection there are notes of freedom, flashes of beauty and redemption.

This is an open letter to those who have emerged from relationships with a masterpiece of scars splattered on a canvas of remorse. This is an open letter to those who never felt wanted and pursued. This is an open letter to those who have watched from afar as one after the other of their friends evaded the pain of unrequited love while they have felt stung and stuck in the same place. This is an open letter to those who have been lied to or cheated on. This is an open letter to anyone who has made a mistake in the arena of love and to the generous lovers, the brave ones who refuse to be defeated and will rise again to enter the arena one more time. There is a reason your heart is the size of a fist, keep fighting, keep feeling, keep loving.

To the lonely,

When did you feel lonely?

I know you crave companionship and intimacy. The art of human connection is to be unashamed and unafraid in intimacy. The freedom of Adam and Eve – the intimacy in union. It is not wrong to desire that. You are not somehow faulty or defective. Believe that God’s will is such that no sin, ignorance, or miscalculation on your part can thwart. His love is so strong and so inseparable from us that not even our own blindness or foolishness can hinder His perfect love. Lonely hearts know they have need, and heaven knows that all we need in this life is need. A need that says I need the shadows of Your wings and the arms of Your embrace. Maybe you have realised now that He is the one that always stays when all else fades away. He is the one who always picks up the pieces. Lonely hearts know that to be known and found is freedom when it is found in the all-knowing Creator. Let the sense and the thoughts of the light shine upon us and let us not be covered by the darkness of pain that we may deeply praise Him. He is our Hiding Place, from our hidden places of ghosts and secrets that make us sick. In the light of the morn there is no shadow left to hide other than His and when the rays beat down we can emerge from the shadow days. His mercy crashes in and endures forever.

It’s easy to feel like a fraud when you understood the temptation to fill emotional needs through external attachments. The struggle is going through the very lesson you thought you knew so well, that you could avoid. Remember that struggle you go through is to pump healthy blood into the body of Christ. One blood courses through the veins of the one body and nourishes them all. If anything can comfort you is that your struggle is for the sake of many. For the church. St Paul’s heart of service was to suffer for the sake of the body. And even though we think we are strong, we are weak for the glory of God. God offers himself that way, life in place of death, holy desire replacing deceitful desire, life planted and growing and filling all the hollow of a soul. We are the weak ones, but this is not bad news. Isn’t brokenness the fertile ground for seeds of hope, the low place where Jesus meets us? We are the weak and we were made for hope and until we find our True Hope, there is no true strength; He renews the strength of those who hope in Him. God’s love is our hope. Keep your eyes on Him and if you can’t see His love fix your wandering eyes and bind it to Him once again.

May our afflictions, our seasons spent waiting patiently to be fixed and free be used to fix and free the body knowing that we have received comfort from the God of all comforts. May you be the unashamed comforter, held and put back together in His perfect love. There is nothing given away that Christ cannot retrieve from the abyss, for though we make our bed in hell, He is there too. He is always there, His eyes fixed on ours, placing our trembling hands on his own pulsing wounds so that we might believe Emmanuel – God with us. He never left.

“Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.” Henri Nouwen

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3 NKJ)

Jesus is not stingy with His comfort, light or strength, especially when we ask. In stillness and quietness we forge an opening to the healing fire within.

As Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain said, “Unless we maintain contact with our inner depths, unless there is a still center in the midst of the storm, unless in the midst of all our activism we preserve a secret room in our heart where we can stand alone with God, we will lose all sense of direction and will be torn in pieces.”

“Loneliness: there is no organ that can take it all” Nicole Krauss

You are loved

About me

Hi there! My name is Sandra and you’ll most likely find me listening to music and getting lost in a book. I grew up in California but I’ve lived most of my life in England which is why you’ll never really be able to work out my accent (sorry!) Those that know me, know I’ll never say no to a family-size bag of Hot Cheetos or pistachio ice cream, some would even say it’s the way to my heart (they would be right). I make sure never to leave home without my trusty Tide pen because I’m absolutely stain-prone! I'm deeply passionate about stain removal, but I’m talking about the kind of "stains” like broken relationships and sexual struggles. Someone once told me that God covers those stains with patches of grace. I like that image because I imagine myself as one of those patchwork quilts worn right through. Each patch of grace has a story to tell; a story of heartbreak and redemption. What Christ has done and what my great privilege to do for others, is to rework the fabric where it has stained. Nothing makes me come alive more than those moments of true, genuine conversations, when we let each other in to see the stains and together we choose to stay and love through the stains. From our encounters to our most intimate relationships I pray our patchwork may tell the story of creating a safe place for each other where we are loved fearless. So I try, though I've failed often and continue to do so, to live out of authenticity, hospitality and vulnerability, never ceasing to forget that when I’m worn out, worn thin and have nothing to bring Him; my empty earthen vessel is the place He can fill with His all-surpassing power. He is my exceedingly, abundantly.


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