As I read the stories of the saints who had received unfading crowns and unimaginable glory I was spurred on all the more.

I remember being so enthralled by the account of the cry of the martyrs as the fifth seal was opened in the Book of Revelation:

When He opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony which they held. And they cried with a loud voice, saying, “How long, O Lord, holy and true, until You judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?” Then a white robe was given to each of them; and it was said to them that they should rest a little while longer, until both the number of their fellow servants and their brethren, who would be killed as they were, was completed. (Revelation 6: 9-12)

Didn’t Jesus Christ Himself say,

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. (John 15:13)

If there was a way to show God how much I loved Him it needed to be a grand gesture, and giving my life for His name fit the bill. After all, I thought, He died for me. Isn’t the only way to respond to something like that to do it in return?

My mind was made up. When I got older I would become a martyr! In the meantime, I was going to ask what things I needed to do to prepare. In so doing, however, I was told that because I lived in America and because this was not the era of emperor Diocletian (who’s made a hobby out of killing Christians) the chance that my dream would be realized was slim. There had to be a way I thought (considering various options like going on a mission trip to a hostile country).

However, as I grew, I learned that there is more than one way to become a martyr. The following is taken from an Irish homily of the seventh century:

Now there are three kinds of martyrdom which are accounted as a Cross to a man, white martyrdom, green martyrdom, and red martyrdom. White martyrdom consists in a man’s abandoning everything he loves for God’s sake… Green martyrdom consists in this, that by means of fasting and labour he frees himself from his evil desires, or suffers toil in penance and repentance. Red martyrdom consists in the endurance of a Cross or death for Christ’s sake.

White Martyrdom

These are the men and woman who forsake the world for the love of God. They include monks, nuns, and those who renounce everything the world has to offer them so that they can focus their attention on their Beloved. The Bible talks about them as those who “wander in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth” because of their great love for Christ the King.

Those who are white martyrs die daily as they consistently choose to live each day for God alone.

Green Martyrdom

These are those people who are constantly striving to “crucify the flesh with its passions and desires.” They “discipline the body and bring it into subjection” knowing that the body is a good servant but a bad master.

Green martyrs bear fruits worthy of repentance and struggle alongside God’s grace to grow into the likeness of our Lord Jesus Christ by taking off the old man and putting on the new man. These are the men and woman who take the Lord’s charge to be perfect seriously.

Red Martyrdom

Now we’ve already touched on this one when I told you about my desire as a young boy. Red martyrdom, as the color implies, is to shed your blood or endure a Cross for the sake of Christ.

However, there is another form of red martyrdom.

Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to “love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and >gave Himself for her.” Christ died for His bride, the Church, so that we might have an example and lay down our lives for our wives.

In the early Church, crowns were a symbol of martyrdom, and during the Orthodox Wedding there is a crowning ceremony where the priest crowns the bride and the groom. This is not only to symbolize participating in Christ’s Kingship as we are united to Him, but it is also to symbolize becoming martyrs.

The word “martyr” is translated “witness” and so the bride and groom have the responsibility to bear witness to Christ in their relationship and in their life together. As new martyrs, the husband and wife die to themselves and their own will so that they can give of their life completely to the other, and through the other, to Christ.

I will leave you with the powerful testimony of a Muslim who converted to Christianity after seeking the True God. He recounts that in the Islam religion dying for the name of Allah is the greatest honor, and so when Christ revealed Himself to him in a vision, he cried out, “My Lord, my Lord, I will live and die for You”

Christ responded, “Do not die for Me – I died for you so that you may live”

I was actually dreading Kenya when I booked my flight ticket; not because I didn’t want to serve but simply because I felt that if God did end up touching my heart then I’d have to ‘sacrifice’ so much worldly stuff that I loved in my life.

Arriving there however was very exciting; I was in a country I’d never visited before, with a really good group of friends out to do service and mission! Little did I know that God would completely unravel a whole new meaning to the word ‘service’ for me. From the first night the Holy Spirit was convicting me through Bishop Paul’s talk to repent, something I had been resisting for the past 7 years, before I started service the next day and to allow my Lord Jesus to wash not only my feet, but my whole body as He did to his disciples so that I can truly be a part in Him.

The main point that was constantly stressed throughout my entire Kenya experience was that ‘service’ without a deep personal relationship with God is no service at all. I’m not going to lie and say I’d never known that fact. What was amazing though was how evident and true that fact was witnessed by all my friends and myself throughout our stay.
After doing a couple of visitations, it really hit me how I genuinely did not know my Bible at all. The fact that I didn’t have the slightest clue where any of the verses were that I wanted to share with the people we visited, really troubled me! Quiet Time, something I’d always been struggling with, instantly became a requirement to me, and very quickly became a delight, a taste of heaven.

For the first time in my life I truly desired to allow God to invade my heart. Reading God’s word is simply indescribable. It was a big wake-up call showing me how shallow and fake my relationship was with Him. It allowed me for the first time to feel how my God loves me beyond imagination that He’s willing to forgive me repeatedly even though I am the crown of thorns on His head. Verses like “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” Ephesians 2:4-5 suddenly became alive to me. I began to understand how awesome and mighty my God really is.

Seeing how quickly God chose to reveal Himself to me moved me to tears. I wanted to glorify Him through my actions and my words and serving in areas like Maseno, Kisumu and Alego gave me that opportunity! God allowed me to witness His glory in home visitations, school visitations, prison ministry, children and adult baptisms, market preaching, church meetings and even within our own group! Every afternoon when the whole group would get back together, we’d all be in awe of our great God and I’d think to myself ‘I can’t wait to see what you have in store for me tomorrow Lord!’.

Ever since I’ve come back to London, God has been showing me how much our relationship means to Him and I thank God with all my heart that by His grace I am able to join David and sing “I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; before the “gods” I will sing your praise. I will bow down towards your holy temple and will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word”.

I cannot wait to go back to Kenya next year!