I retell the story once written of a woman caught in her weakness. A tale of piercing words and stones clenched in fists. Yet, there is a Man who bends low, speaks:

“He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” John 8:7

Stones fall like rain to the ground, every voice is silenced. My sweet sister falls too to the ground, and Mama says, “the Word has pierced her, she is humbling herself.”

“Neither do I accuse you, go and sin no more.” John 8:11

Sister wipes her tears in her shirt, cries,

“But I can’t change. I sleep with so many men. I’m 30 and I can’t have one man. My Father and mother don’t believe I can change, they call me a drunkard. So I just drink.”

We hold her close, speak softly: “we are your family, and we believe in you.”

“Really?” She stares at us, wide-eyed, in disbelief. “But how can I change, I drink. I don’t know how.”

“His power is your strength.

You are worthy.

You are loved.”

Wise Mama speaks to her of Paul on the road to Damascus, tells her the truth that no one is ever too far from grace, that there is no such thing as a lost cause.

“Nifuna, Nifuna, Nifuna” (I want, I want, I want), she pleads.

We hold hands in prayer, pleading for every chain and stronghold to break.

I marvel at the God who does not count our sin, only the number of hairs on our head. I marvel at the abundance of that love.

Sometimes those who are serving God become the hopeless, wishing that those whom they serve could change, but lacking the belief that they can actually change. Perhaps most people, if not all, have a list of “lost causes.” But maybe there is power in the faith of friends who believe in His power. Maybe hope for the hopeless starts right here, with us, when we pursue the wholeness of others by believing in the wholeness of others. Maybe our belief is everything; maybe our faith is more potent than we ever imagined. Like the paralytic man who’s healing came when his friends insisted to lay him before Christ.

When He saw their faith, He said to him, “Man, your sins are forgiven you.” Luke 5:20

Because a roof was no hindrance when the “power of the Lord was present to heal them.” (Luke 5:17) Maybe breaking rooftops is our call, and maybe the hardest rooftop to break through is our own disbelief. What if hope for the hopeless looks like a man weeping and praying in faith before a holy God on behalf of an unfaithful nation (Ezra 9), until the power of God is displayed through their repentance (Ezra 10)?

What if those around us, who are in need of change, never changed because we never faithfully believed and prayed that they could?

What if we prayed for others, genuinely believing in Gods power?

Sweet sister comes the next evening for prayers, runs up to the altar weeping on her knees. Maybe our faith in Him on behalf of others is the most we really have to offer, maybe He is more powerful than we have ever known…

‘Do you fast? Give me proof of it by your works. If you see a poor man take pity on him..’ St John Chrysostom

As Orthodox believers are called to practice what we believe. If Orthodoxy means the ‘correct belief’ than Orthopraxy means ‘correct practice.’ This correct practice involves preaching by using our hands to serve. It means clearing the stench of economic division with the air of reconciliation. It means doing more than theorizing. It means acknowledging the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit in the Church, and walking humbly – and boldly – into the thick darkness, so that we might proclaim freedom to the captives, and demand justice for the oppressed.

The thing about social justice is that it’s not “elsewhere,” it is here and it is a part of us. It is healing the wounds that we have created in the body of Christ. It is breaking every barrier that stops us being gathered together into the arms of Christ.

“How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were not willing!” (Luke 13:34)

Would you do honor to Christ’s body? Neglect Him not when naked; do not while here you honor Him with silken garments, neglect Him perishing without of cold and nakedness. For He that said, “This is my body,” and by His word confirmed the fact, This same said, “You saw me an hungered, and fed me not;” and, “Inasmuch as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me.” Matthew 25:42, 45. For this indeed needs not coverings, but a pure soul; but that requires much attention.
-St. John Chrysosotom Homily 50 on Matthew

 

In the story of Lazarus and the rich man (Luke 16:19-31), the rich man saw poverty and suffering around him, but he chose apathy. Maybe, he, like the priest who passed by the man in the story of the good samaritan, was on his way to church or some service. Busying himself, he forgets to act justly. He forgets he is made for justice. Maybe in serving at the table of the Lord, we have forgotten to serve the table of the poor.

“When His table indeed is full of golden cups, but He perishes with hunger? First fill Him, being an hungered, and then abundantly deck out His table also. Do you make Him a cup of gold, while you give Him not a cup of cold water? And what is the profit? Do you furnish His table with cloths bespangled with gold, while to Himself you afford not even the necessary covering? And what good comes of it? For tell me, should you see one at a loss for necessary food, and omit appeasing his hunger, while you first overlaid his table with silver; would he indeed thank you, and not rather be indignant?” -St John Chrysostom, Homily 50 Matthew

The thing about social justice is that it is forgotten. We forget that working towards social justice is what it means to celebrate the liturgy on the streets.
When seeking the kingdom of heaven, let us remember that in the parable of the pearl, the pearl was not found in the clouds but amongst the dirt, hidden under rocks and soil (Matthew 13: 45-46). It takes getting your hands dirty to get it out; hidden behind the poor, the broken, the marginalized.

Do you desire greatness this lent, and in your spiritual life?

Jesus redefined it:

“he who is greatest among you, let him be as the younger, and he who governs as he who serves. For who is greater, he who sits at the table, or he who serves? Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet I am among you as the One who serves.” (Luke 22:26-27)

We serve a God of an upside down kingdom where the meek will inherit, where those who serve are greater than those who sit on thrones, there is strength through weakness, exaltation through humility, receiving through giving, freedom from servitude.

Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
To loose the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the heavy burdens,
To let the oppressed go free,
And that you break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry.
Isaiah 58:6

 

O Lord Jesus,
Let your upside down kingdom come
Help us fast from injustice
Keep our eyes wide open to suffering
Help us flee from apathy

this post is dedicated to a friend in Jordan

(Photo courtesy of Ondro Miklas)

“If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad.”
– Elizabeth Elliot

“Much of your pain is the bitter poison by which the physician within you heals your sick self.”
– Khalil Gibran

Hurt people, hurt people…
I am tattered with scars, scars that if you look closely, you can trace contours and grooves, like lines of a map. They are clues to a treasure, a quest I am still embarking. They are knitted together with love like a patchwork quilt, each part is unique and chosen.

Scars are never ugly because they always have a story.

A story of grace and healing, a story that says that though He wounds,He will bind up.

A story that says that though you were once sick like Simon’s wife’s mother, you too will be called to arise and serve those that healed you and those that hurt you.

“Love to be real, it must cost—it must hurt—it must empty us of self.”
– Mother Theresa

It’s true, sometimes the thorn that pierces us can leave others bleeding as they embrace us, the broken sometimes have spiky edges. But what if one day the thorn that once pierced my flesh becomes a seed that grows into a beautiful garden of compassion.What if hurt people stopped hurting people? What if hurt people could heal people?

“Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.”
Hosea 6:1

“For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal”
Job 5:18

“But Simon’s wife’s mother lay sick with a fever, and they told Him about her at once. So He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up, and immediately the fever left her. And she served them”
Mark 1:30-31

I have been wounded for love. I have learnt that love and pain are streams that lead to the same river, they are notes in one long symphony, they often meander and intertwine. That is why it is said that Love is as strong as death, because if it doesn’t kill you, it sure will make you bleed. To really love someone, means to suffer with them, and sometimes because of them. But, through the pain, I have cast out my blood stained robes of pride, so that unveiled and wounded, I have learnt what it means to partake of His suffering…and of other people’s.

“Through compassion it is possible to recognise that the craving for love that people feel resides also in our own hearts, that the cruelty the world knows all too well is also rooted in our own impulses. Through compassion we also sense our hope for forgiveness in our friends’ eyes and our hatred in their bitter mouths. When they kill, we know that we could have done it; when they give life, we know that we can do the same. For a compassionate person nothing human is alien: no joy and no sorrow, no way of living and no way of dying… The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.”
– Henri Nouwen

God uses the broken for His glory. Blessed are the cracked, for they let the light in.

Hannah had bitterness of soul over infertility and a broken domestic situation.
Elijah felt so beaten down that he asked God to take his life.
Job and Jeremiah cursed the day that they were born.
David repeatedly asked his own soul why it was so downcast.
Even Jesus, the perfectly divine human, lamented that His soul was overwhelmed with sorrow.
He wept when His friend died.

Our pain is always with purpose, there is a always a message in the mess. Our pain is the point at which, even for just a fraction of infinity, His heart touches mine because He knows what it means to be wounded for others. But, once our wounds have healed they no longer ooze with regret and self condemnation. The wound is the place where the light enters you, where we bleed out love and healing. Our wounds scream out; its because you are glorious that these things happened to you. Through our healing, we can heal people.

I pray and ask, how can I be the oil of the good Samaritan? The Greek word for Mercy is ‘eleos’, which is the same root of the old Greek word for oil. So I pray, let our mercy be poured out on the wounded. Let us stand by valiantly, even in silence, close enough to warm broken hearts, avoiding the distance of pity as well as the exclusiveness of sympathy. Our God is not a God of confusion, so let us reflect the Divine by not adding tip or trick. Having the ability to go to the place of our own suffering and meet them right where they are , having the patience to tolerate not knowing and not saying but facing the reality of the the pain in its fullness, letting it be felt.

“The path to God is a daily cross. No one has ascended to heaven by way of ease. We know where the easy way leads.”
– St Isaac the Syrian

“If God sends you many sufferings, it is a sign that He has great plans for you and certainly wants to make you a saint.”
– St Ignatius of Loyola

Greek Mythology;

‘The Greek myth of Chiron, the centaur from whose name chirurgie is derived in French and surgery is derived in English, can help us to understand. The Greek gods Apollo and Artemis taught medicine to Chiron. Chiron was wounded by an arrow from Heracles’ bow. He did not die (because gods are immortal); instead, he suffered excruciating pain for the rest of his eternal days. It was because of his grievous wound that Chiron became known as a legendary healer in ancient Greece. Chiron later took an orphaned child, Esculapius, into his care. The son of Apollo and a mortal, Coronis, Esculapius had been spared certain death when Apollo snatched him from his dead mother’s breast just as she was about to burst into flames. The orphan was entrusted to Chiron, who taught him everything he knew about the healing arts. It was thus that Esculapius became one of the two founding fathers of Western medicine.

In 1951, Jung first used the term wounded healer. Jung believed that disease of the soul could be the best possible form of training for a healer. In a book published days before his death, Jung wrote that only a wounded physician could heal effectively. In so doing, Jung drew upon the myth of Chiron, making it one of the most fundamental archetypes of human history and modern medicine.

There is always a star in the darkness of the night;

There’s something that I’ve been meaning to speak to you about for some time now. It’s a lesson that you started to learn a little while ago but have already started forgetting. Let me recap your memory…

I want to remind you of a couple of verses that once pierced your heart and woke you up. “But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, you descendants of Abraham my friend, I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:8-10. Self, who chose you to be a servant? Who called you? Who promised to strengthen you and help you? Was it not The Lord… Was it not He that gave you your gifts… Are you not His vessel?

“Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8. Recently you’ve forgotten that all you are is clay in the hands of the potter. You’ve forgotten that it’s not you who ‘earned’ the gifts you have but that you’ve been granted them graciously by your potter – as St. Paul says “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to us…” Romans 12:6. It’s not you who’s in control, it’s Him. You’ve forgotten that it’s not your service, It’s His service. “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel. If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it.” Jeremiah 18:6-10. You’ve become so concerned with being a ‘good’ servant on the outside. Do you not remember that God can only work in the vacancy of your heart?

It’s time for you to wake up Self and realise that you’re merely a vessel that He can choose to use for His glory. Whenever you feel that you’re a ‘good’ and ‘righteous’ servant deserving the praise of people around you, humble yourself. Remember that it is God’s name you want to bring the glory and praise to, not your own. Remind yourself of how unworthy you are to be called to be God the Almighty’s servant – that even though you are covered in so much sin He still chooses to use you. Pray that God instils in your heart the desire to have people look at you and say ‘wow, God is so amazing’ not ‘wow you’re so amazing’. You’re like a small box containing an incredible diamond ring; if the box is fancy but opaque, people will look at it and admire it but not see the prize inside at first glance. But if the box is made out of cheap plastic but is clear, people will look at it and instantly gasp in admiration of the diamond ring inside. Self, you need to desire to be clear/ transparent/ invisible so that it is not you ‘using’ God to shine in-front of people but God shining through you to His people.

“He must become greater; I must become less.” 

John 3:30

Repent and examine yourself O my soul. If people’s praise is what’s driving you to serve, then you are not serving at all. If showcasing and utilising your gifts is what’s driving you to serve, then you are not serving at all. Even if it’s love towards the people you’re serving that’s driving you to serve, then the root of your service is wrong. St. Augustine says “If the intention is unclean, the deed that follows from it will also be evil, even if it seems good.” When you serve, you do so out of love for your Creator – you desire to be nothing so He can be everything – you want everything that you say/ do to glorify His name not yours. In Exodus “…if the [Hebrew] servant declares, ‘I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,’ then his master must take him before the judges. He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life.” Exodus 21:5,6. It was the Hebrew servant’s personal choice in the seventh year of service whether to go free or willingly choose to serve his master forever. Ask yourself: “Do I really love my Master so much that I’m willing to be His servant for life?”.

In order to serve your Master you need to love Him; and in order to love Him, you need to know Him. Self, do you know your God? Do you know what His personality’s like? What He loves and hates? How can you trust Him or ask for His will in service if you don’t know Him? “. “The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught… You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, “You did not make me”? Can the pot say to the potter, “You know nothing”?” Isaiah 29:13,16. Self, God loves you and wants you to serve Him but you have to spend time in His presence reading His word, getting to know who it is that you’re serving. Join King David in saying: “Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name” Psalm 86:11 for you hurt God when you don’t give Him the honour He deserves. “A son honors his father, and a slave his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?” says the Lord Almighty.” Malachi 1:6.

“No matter how much we may study, it is not possible to come to know God unless we live according to His commandments, for God is not know by science, but by the Holy Spirit. Many philosophers and learned men came to the belief that God exists, but they did not know God. It is one thing to belief that God exists and another to know Him. If someone has come to know God by the Holy Spirit, his soul will burn with love for God day and night, and his soul cannot be bound to any earthly thing.”

St. Silouan the Athonite

So Self, repent and ask forgiveness for your sins. Ask the Lord to introduce Himself to you once more that you may again understand how insignificant you are and how almighty He is; how it’s He, the King of Kings, who deserves all glory and honour. Persevere in prayer and reading His word that you may know your Creator and love Him abundantly, offering Him praise and service in return. Let not Satan trick you and fool you into thinking that you accomplish anything with your gifts or talents for “man’s life is a period of time which the devil tries to waste” H.H. Pope Shenouda III. Instead remember in your heart that “…’Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit.’ says the Lord Almighty” Zechariah 4:6. Finally stand before your gracious God and thank Him that in your brokenness His strength is perfect, and in your weakness He uses you as an empty vessel to serve Him.

Love,
Self