And there’s a seam in my heart, one I trace back to spending hours pouring my soul over, needle to thread, weaving through all the truths I believed I must live, and all the expectations that would keep my life neat, keep it tidy. Because who longs to live a messy life displaying only rugged edges and pulled out threads all over? Yet with every stitch, it feels like I closed the hollow in my ears, unable to hear, sealed the passion burrowing in me, unable to live. For to be fully alive, is to be wholly attentive to the Voice that calls you into being, and to allow the flame inside you to burn as fierce and as loud as the Voice.

There is a song bottled in the heart, a beautiful symphony that awakens the soul to live out audaciously. We stifle the lyrics through finance-focused careers, pleasing those around us and masking who we are that we may be accepted. Yet every Word calls for embracing the unknown, to live day by day, uncalculated, unplanned, radically obedient. And in that radical obedience, a radical defiance to all the suppose-to-do and the should-do’s, shaking off every expectation we claimed as our own.

In our desperation to stitch our frayed seams to picture perfection we neglect the tell tale signs of the thread as it pierces our fabric. So when there comes a day when the thread snaps and the material wears thin from carrying a weight it was never meant to bear, what will the mark the needle left tell? There is the thread I stitch with, the thread of performance, perfectionism, scarcity and of comparison. The thread of lies, insecurities and of living for the applause that never seems to arrive. The thread that tightens and holds the fabric is the very thread that tangles us into an insolvable knot.

There is an otherworldly thread. This thread like the ECG on a monitor is the thread that does not tie but flows, as a steady thrum of a heartbeat bursting from our chest, chasing the truth planted in our hearts and  bursting the seams of what is ordinary or expected. This thread is the thread of no seams, no limits, no bounds, no man made edges. This thread does not try to tuck in the chaos inside our world of sadness neatly away. Chaos is with the fabric, every fabric you’ll find it embedded in the fibres; otherworldly fibres that connect our spirit to the Spirit of God. For it is His Kingdom that lies within. It is His Kingdom that fills.

Sometimes my heart aches; am I really free? Do I live free or do I live confined to social and cultural expectations? Perhaps even my very own expectations. Often the well beaten path seems like the only option, when your feet are unsteady and choices seem heavy. But maybe all it takes is to open up your eyes and look beyond these sheltered gardens to see  there is a whole forest out there beckoning you to explore its acres.

I’m beginning to understand that God has given us our passions for a reason. They are chosen and they are precious. We are not meant to be smoldered. Smoldered, by the piles of to do lists and meaningless business, obligations and “should dos”. Because what if there really is no “should” in life? Could the words of Esther, “Perhaps this is the moment for which I have been created” (Esther 4:14) hold true in each and every moment?

I believe we are made for adventure; we are made for more.

May we live zealously with purpose, realizing that every choice is a stroke of paint in the picture He is painting of our lives.

May we stop living as prisoners of all the should-do’s.

May we choose to stop calculating our every step.

May we allow the melody to rise, that we may unashamedly burst at the seams.

Co-written with Monica

(Photo courtesy of Mykola Lunov)

Wanted, a man who will not lose his individuality in a crowd, a man who has the courage of his convictions, who is not afraid to say “No,” though all the world say “Yes.”

Wanted, a man who is larger than his calling, who considers it a low estimate of his occupation to value it merely as a means of getting a living.
Wanted, a man who sees self-development, education and culture, discipline and drill, character and manhood, in his occupation.

Wanted, a man of courage who is not a coward in any part of his nature.

Wanted, a man who is symmetrical, and not one-sided in his development, who has not sent all the energies of his being into one narrow specialty and allowed all the other branches of his life to wither and die.

Wanted, a man who is broad, who does not take half views of things; a man who mixes common sense with his theories, who does not let a college education spoil him for practical, every-day life; a man who prefers substance to show, and one who regards his good name as a priceless treasure.

Wanted, a man “who, no stunted ascetic, is full of life and fire, but whose passions are trained to heed a strong will, the servant of a tender conscience; who has learned to love all beauty, whether of nature or of art, to hate all vileness, and to respect others as himself.”

The world wants a man who is educated all over; whose nerves are brought to their acutest sensibility; whose brain is cultured, keen, incisive, broad; whose hands are deft; whose eyes are alert, sensitive, microscopic; whose heart is tender, magnanimous, true.

The whole world is looking for such a man. Although there are millions out of employment, yet it is almost impossible to find just the right man in almost any department of life, and yet everywhere we see the advertisement: “Wanted–A Man.”

It is a sad sight to see thousands of students graduated every year from our grand institutions whose object is to make stalwart, independent, self-supporting men, turned out into the world saplings instead of stalwart oaks, “memory-glands” instead of brainy men, helpless instead of self-supporting, sickly instead of robust, weak instead of strong, leaning instead of erect. “So many promising youths, and never a finished man!”

The character sympathizes with and unconsciously takes on the nature of the body. A peevish, snarling, ailing man can not develop the vigor and strength of character which is possible to a healthy, robust, cheerful man. There is an inherent love in the human mind for wholeness, a demand that man shall come up to the highest standard; and there is an inherent protestor contempt for preventable deficiency. Nature, too, demands that man be ever at the top of his condition.

The first requisite of all education and discipline should be man-timber. Tough timber must come from well grown, sturdy trees. Such wood can be turned into a mast, can be fashioned into a piano or an exquisite carving. But it must become timber first. Time and patience develop the sapling into the tree. So through discipline, education, experience, the sapling child is developed into hardy mental, moral, physical man-timber.

If the youth should start out with the fixed determination that every statement he makes shall be the exact truth; that every promise he makes shall be redeemed to the letter; that every appointment shall be kept with the strictest faithfulness and with full regard for other men’s time; if he should hold his reputation as a priceless treasure, feel that the eyes of the world are upon him, that he must not deviate a hair’s breadth from the truth and right; if he should take such a stand at the outset, he would…come to have almost unlimited credit and the confidence of everybody who knows him.

What are palaces and equipages; what though a man could cover a continent with his title-deeds, or an ocean with his commerce; compared with conscious rectitude, with a face that never turns pale at the accuser’s voice, with a bosom that never throbs with fear of exposure, with a heart that might be turned inside out and disclose no stain of dishonor? To have done no man a wrong;…to walk and live, unseduced, within arm’s length of what is not your own, with nothing between your desire and its gratification but the invisible law of rectitude— this is to be a man.

Taken from Pushing to the Front, 1911
By Orison Swett Marden

Found in The Art of Manliness book entitled Manvotionals

]]> https://becomingfullyalive.com/wanted-a-man/feed/ 0 https://becomingfullyalive.com/i-spoke-up-the-sin-no-one-talks-about/ https://becomingfullyalive.com/i-spoke-up-the-sin-no-one-talks-about/#respond Tue, 14 Apr 2015 19:16:43 +0000 https://becomingfullyalive.com/?p=279 These words are for the valiant men who are not afraid to speak of their struggles; your courage inspires us.

These words are for the women who are too afraid to speak out; you are not alone.

Silence is deadly. To let silence speak, is to let our souls fester. And festering souls are no resting place for the Presence of Him who is holy.

As women we oft evade His presence, fleeing the present moment. Our minds are wanderers into the future, intricately creating fantasy after fantasy, convincing ourselves that it is acceptable. We tell ourselves that our thoughts dishonor no man, and a thought is not sinful unless it leaves the confines of our mind and enters into reality.

Even the essence of our thoughts don’t seem to be always sinful, since they are not always sexual.

For hours we can ponder a life with that friend or stranger, how beautiful our babies could be and how good a lover he is bound to be. Within a minute, we are world-heroes, world-travellers and we have dated 5 different men.

In the words of Natasha Bedingfield,

“Trust me it would scare you
if you knew what was goin’ on in my brain
Trust me it would scare you
that I’ve picked out the church all the schools all the names…”

A day in a woman’s brain, would, most definitely, scare you.

St Isaac the Syrian said that it is a “greater miracle that a man can see his true self than the raising of the dead.” There is no light in our silence, there is light only in our truth. Our every attempt of denial, and our refusal to name our fantasies – lust – is to neglect truth. And the truth is, lust does not only take form in sexual fantasy.

As creatures of pleasure, lust is rooted in the thrill, of not only what may be forbidden, but what is not ours. Lust is not to be tamed, negotiated or bargained with; our minds and desires constantly rush ahead, racing to the next thought even as the current one is being consummated – all in pursuit of pleasure’s elusive satisfaction. A thought never remains as a single thought. It is an ever increasing drive for an ever diminishing pleasure. Lust will always keep you longer than you intended, drag you further than you anticipated and take more than you were willing to give. It plays for keeps.

Lust is the hours spent inside our own minds in uncontrollable imagination over any desire.

Lust is the fantasies we create to appease our emotional comfort, whether from the opposite sex or the same sex; even if our fantasies do not involve physical intimacy. Like the fantasy of a man stopping us from boarding a plane at the last minute to declare His undying love with roses, a box of love letters he’s been secretly writing for years and a song he wrote and composed just for us. But to live in a daydream is to live in a spirit of discontentment. As harmless as it may seem, we set ourselves up for unrealistic expectations that no man can measure up to and we waste the chance of taking moments seeking the God of all comforts in this dry, parched land.

Lust is an escape, a mechanism to cope with the realities where we feel stressed, inadequate, undesirable, bored or rejected; we turn to fantasy instead of seeking adventure and relief for our burdens in the only One who can promise pleasures forevermore.

Lust is a lack of trust that God is always good and we are always loved. It is the Isrealties, longing for the food in Egypt where they were slaves instead of having faith that the manna is enough and it could abound in sustaining their every need. It is determining that you know better, and this manna is not the best, so you take matters in to your own hands.

Lust is the time spent thinking of the ways you desire to be sexually intimate with a man; it is intimacy’s empty well, leaving you perpetually hungry for much more. It is the devil’s deceitful whispers that this is the God who deprives, demands impossible things and who takes away everything. Yet we must “consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls” for “unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain.” Lust plunders and ravages our life, yet Lust has never forgiven us; it never took nails in its wrists. So while Christ may ask of us our lives, He sacrificed His first. What is surrendered to Him is never lost.

Lust takes the form of gluttony; it is the continual greed for excess and in this world of excess, I am the king. Centered on what I have set my heart on, what I feel I deserve or what I believe I am entitled to; I neglect to cast my anchor down to the faithfulness of my Living Hope and re-center on Him, the true King. Though we exchange ourselves for God, He exchanged Himself for us, for our freedom from death.

Our lustful thoughts come so naturally, that to fight them strikes against our very comfort. The mind is a fierce battle ground and we are besieged. Lustful thoughts are a never-ending attack but in our control is the decision to fight. And this fight cannot be of our own strength, but through the strength and grace of Christ.

Resolved to stand firm, we must not numb the pain for “we have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin”(Hebrews12:4). Paul instructs us to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17), for a mind that ruminates and fixates on its own desires and pleasures in fantasy, is a mind that ceases to pray.

“Why do demons wish to excite in us gluttony, fornication, greed, anger, rancour and other passions? So that the mind, under their weight, should be unable to pray as it ought; for when the passions of our irrational part begin to act, they prevent the mind from acting rationally.”
– St. Nilus of Sinai

Paul exhorts us to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5), so however captivating the fantasy let us capture it in the net of His grace and “whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things”(Philippians 4:8).

So I must test my thoughts, assess each one, to find that which is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, of virtue and praiseworthy. But I know those thoughts are often few, and the reality is, pleasure drives my mind. As the disciples slept in Gethsemane, Jesus spoke to them,

“Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Matthew 26:41

Our spirits are willing, but our fleshy selves are weak, insatiable beggars. If a mind is not in prayer, it can reach anywhere, jump half-way across the world in pursuit of its favourite damp and musky prison cell of sin. “Watch,” He says; to be vigilant over the workings of our minds and the thoughts that walk through them. Watch, here and now because Christ’s presence is in the present. How will we respond to the knowledge of soul-festering thoughts? Will we let lust take home in our inner crevices? Will we expose those thoughts to the light and let prayer be our saving fortress?

Thoughts creep in more swiftly than they creep out. It is not with gentleness that they can be eradicated “for the kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force,” but with consistent vigilance and prayer. We need hearts ready for the fight, confessing a festering-soul state and a need for One who is merciful. Many who have gone before us prayed incessantly,

“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy upon me a sinner.”

Humility is a realisation that we need to call upon the name of Jesus as often as we breath. Prayer builds the walls of Jerusalem in our hearts and minds and cements them until the stones cry out for our Saviour. Our minds cannot run empty, there is no moment where we are completely thoughtless, so this prayer recited habitually becomes grafted in our minds, replacing our lustful thoughts. We do not deprive but substitute. Because, every moment I live, I live bowed to something. And if I do not bow to God, I’ll bow down before something else. A prayer of the heart ushers us into reality. A reality where I must meet and accept who I am at this present moment. In a place where we can say with St Paul, “by the grace of God I am what I am.” A reality that has the stillness of heart to listen to His fantasies for me, and not my own. “As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.” Psalm 18:30

To pray unceasingly is to be in Christ. It is a sign of death of the flesh, a death to my will and a release of His Spirit in me.

In Him, I am white as snow, even if I stumble 7 times a day (or every minute.) If I cling to remember God’s mercy and this truth, that I am clean then I will be ever more cautious. For the clean can not tolerate a blemish. But if I let the accuser tell me I am the sum of my unrestrained thoughts, then I will become lazy, apathetic and slacken my efforts, for what is one more speck of dirt smeared on a canvas of black? Yet, you and I, we are canvases of lily white, washed in the blood of the Lamb, for He has “swept away your transgressions like a cloud, and your sins like a mist. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you” (Isaiah 44:22).

“Return,” He pleads. Must He wait much longer? Must I leave Him pleading? I thirst for lust, yet He thirsts for me.

There is hope. We are not alone, for He has not left us alone. Our eternal Rock; He is our motivation to be pure as He is, and our grace when we fall. 
So when my hand slips out of His, a thought wastes in me hours and I depart from prayer; I will take the hand of grace and rise again. I will take His hand though my hands are dirty, my wounds still bleed, my heart still fears and the shackles lying on the ground do not look as bad as they once were.

We cannot lie to ourselves and the world any longer; lust is not just every man’s battle, it is also every woman’s battle.

I will choose truth over silence.

May His love that is better than life satisfy our deep hearts.
May it purge away all lesser loves as fire to the dross.
May His presence be our joy, treasure and delight.
May you face the truth of your own darkness and call sin out for what it is.
May we fight for our purity together as we learn to be seized by a greater Affection,

In the Light…

Co-written with Sandra and Monica.

We need to have integrity, virtue, courage, and passion!

I was recently incredibly blessed to meet a godly and beautiful women who shared a quote that really touched me:

“Do not settle. Love a man who loves Christ more than you – and you more than himself. Be attracted to tenderness, lowliness, self-restraint, consistency and sacrifice. Seek that man who carries the imprint of our Lord’s cross upon his life. Rather, follow that man whom comes along and resembles the unconditional grace of your Lord Jesus. I know godliness in a man is hard to find. But, find it. Otherwise, you will spend your life raising the man you thought you married. The church and this culture are filled with boys masquerading as men. Let them pass. The man you are looking for is no boy. He is a servant. He cares for your needs above his own. You should be able to recognize it when you see it. That man who will lay down his life for yours is the type of man you can easily give yours to. The man who sacrifices himself is easy to serve sacrificially.”

Lord, you said that without You I can do nothing. I need You to help me become the man You’ve created me to be. Let me imitate these men who prefigured my Lord Jesus Christ in the Old Testament:

Abraham – a man with a perfect faith in God. “For what does the Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness”” (Romans 4:3) to the point where God considered Abraham a close friend so that He said to Himself “shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing?” (Genesis 18:17)

Isaac – obedient to the point of death (Genesis 21:9) just like our Lord Jesus Christ (Philippians 2:8)

Jacob – one who wrestled with God and was not complacent in his spiritual growth (Genesis 32:26)

Joseph – a man blessed not by fame and fortune (although he had both) but rather by the presence of God in his life (Genesis 39:5). A man who freely forgave those who wounded him deeply, knowing that God used all things for good (Genesis 50:20)

Moses – the most humble man in all of the earth (Numbers 12:3). One who interceded for his people, spoke with God face to face, and beheld His power and glory first hand (Exodus 32:11-4, Exodus 33:11, Exodus 33:18-23)

Samson – A man who knew God would never give up on him no matter how foolish he had been. “Then Samson prayed to the Lord, Sovereign Lord, remember me. Please, God, strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes” (Judges 16:28)

Elijah – a man with such boldness and confidence in his God that he was able to call down fire from heaven to destroy the adversary so that the One True God was glorified (1 Kings 18:37-39)

Elisha – a man who was audacious enough to ask for extravagant things from God, expecting he would receive them (2 Kings 2:9)

Hezekiah – a man who humbled himself and made decisions with God (2 Kings 19:14-16)

Samuel – A man who reflected Christ even since his childhood (compare Samuel in 1 Samuel 2:26 with Jesus in Luke 2:52)

David – a man like no other, who had a vibrant, passionate, and obsessive relationship with His Master, Maker, Father, and Friend (1 Samuel, 2 Samuel, 1 Chronicles, 2 Chronicles, Psalms)

Jonathan – a man who took chances on God: “Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.”” (1 Samuel 14:6)

Beniah – a man who had the courage and valor to do many heroic deeds, like chasing a lion into a pit on a snowy day to kill it (1 Chronicles 11:22-24)

Solomon – a man who had a heart for his people and asked God for wisdom to lead them (2 Chronicles 1:10)

Job – one whom the Lord boasted about, who was put through severe trials and tribulations for his own good and for the glory of God (The Book of Job)

Ben Sirach – A man with a gift of explaining divine truths so beautifully:

“Consider the ancient generations and see: who ever trusted in the Lord and was put to shame? Or who ever persevered in the fear of the Lord and was forsaken? Or who ever called upon Him and was overlooked? For the Lord is compassionate and merciful; He forgives sins and saves in time of affliction” (Wisdom of Sirach 2:10)

“Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, but not into the hands of men; for as His majesty is, so also is His mercy” (Wisdom of Sirach 2:18)

Nehemiah – a man who understood the importance of balance. He worked and fought simultaneously. “Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other” (Nehemiah 4:17)

Tobias – a man in the company of angels throughout his day (see the Book of Tobit)

Jeremiah – real men cry (The Book of Jeremiah, Lamentations)

Ezekiel – a man who never forgot that he was a tool in the hands of the Living God, and who did not consider himself wise in his own eyes: “Sovereign Lord, you alone know” (Ezekiel 37:3)

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego – men with uncompromising integrity in following after and worshiping God (Daniel 3:16-18)

Daniel – a man beloved and highly esteemed in the eyes of God (Daniel 9:23)

I feel like I should cite Hebrews 11 because there is no way to have a conclusive list:

“And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of [all the other great men] who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life again.

Others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection. Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented— of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth.

And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise, God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us” (Hebrews 11:32-39)

Lord, I pray that You would conform me to the glorious image of the Lord Jesus Christ! Let me be perfect like you are perfect!!

I am a soldier in the army of my God.

The Lord Jesus Christ is my Commanding Officer. The Holy Scripture is my code of conduct. Faith, prayer and the Word are my weapons of warfare. I have been taught by the Holy Spirit, trained by experience, tried by adversity and tested by fire.

I am a volunteer in this army, and I am enlisted for eternity. I will not get out, sell out, be talked out or pushed out. I am faithful, reliable, capable and dependable. If my God needs me, I am there. I am a soldier. I am not a baby. I do not need to be pampered, petted, primed up, pumped up, picked up, or pepped up. I am a soldier. No one has to call me, remind me, write me, visit me, entice me or lure me. I am a soldier. I am not a wimp. I am in place, saluting my King, obeying His orders, praising His name and building His kingdom! No one has to send me flowers, gifts, food, cards or candy, or give me handouts. I do not need to be cuddled, cradled, cared for or catered to. I am committed. I cannot have my feelings hurt bad enough to turn me around. I cannot be discouraged enough to turn me aside. I cannot lose enough to cause me to quit.

When Jesus called me into this army, I had nothing. If I end up with nothing, I will still come out ahead. I will win. My God has and will continue to supply all of my need. I am more than a conqueror. I will always triumph. I can do all things through Christ. The devil cannot defeat me. People cannot disillusion me. Weather cannot weary me. Sickness cannot stop me. Battles cannot beat me. Money cannot buy me. Governments cannot silence me, and hell cannot handle me. I am a soldier. Even death cannot destroy me. For when my Commander calls me from His battlefield, He will promote me to captain and then allow me to rule with Him. I am a soldier in the army, and I’m marching claiming victory. I will not give up. I will not turn around.

I am a soldier, marching heaven-bound. Here I Stand! Will you stand with me?

…not because it was a phenomenal movie (although I can say that it was really well put together) but because of the profound significance that it had to me personally.

Have you ever had a moment where you deeply identified with a character in a story, whether presented in the form of a movie, play, or even book? Well that’s what happened with me and The Great Gatsby.

The narrator of the story, Nick Carraway, introduces his friend Gatsby as “…the single most hopeful person I’ve ever met, and am ever likely to meet again”

As he comes to know Gatsby more and more he sees clearer and clearer “Gatsby’s extraordinary gift for hope… a gift that I have never found in any other person”

The story, at its core, revolves around an elaborate mirage Gatsby has concocted in his mind and has come to believe wholeheartedly. He hopes without any reservation; he dreams no matter how seemingly unrealistic… that the love of his life, Daisy Buchanan (who is now married to another man), will come back to him. Even more absurd is his persistence that they are to start their relationship right where they left off four years ago as if nothing had happened in the meantime.

[Gatsby] wanted to recover something, some idea of himself perhaps, that had gone into loving Daisy. His life had been confused and disordered since then, but if he could once return to a certain starting place and go over it all slowly, he could find out what that thing was.

I liken his mental state to the verse in Romans 4:18 referring to the faith of Abraham “who, contrary to hope, in hope believed”

But there is one major difference.

Gatsby hoped in a situation, a person, an idea –  we are supposed to hope in GOD!

Too many of us (myself included) are so easily occupied in having faith in the wrong thing… things that perish, that don’t satisfy, that don’t sustain…

We believe the lies of the enemy telling us that we would be better off if we only had [this] relationship, [this] amount of money, [this] car, health, power.. whatever it may be.

What Is Hope?

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

Hope feeds faith. Put another way, the faith you have in something comes from the amount of hope you put into that thing. The more you hope for health, wealth, and whatever else.. the more you believe [or have faith] that those things will satisfy, sustain, and ultimately save you. See the problem?

It completely shifts our focus from hoping and having faith in God

Have you ever hoped for something and then reached that goal? What happened? I bet you thought to yourself, “Is this all there is? I thought there was more to it than this…”

That’s because we hope and have faith in the wrong thing too long that we fool ourselves into believing that if we only get [insert blank here] we will have it made. Hebrews 3 mentions the “the deceitfulness of sin” and in my opinion there is no better adjective to describe it.

Gatsby’s story portrays this brilliantly:

“Gatsby himself didn’t believe [her call] would come, and perhaps he no longer cared. If that was true he must have felt that he had lost the old warm world, paid a high price for living too long with a single dream. He must have looked up at an unfamiliar sky through frightening leaves and shivered as he found what a grotesque thing a rose is and how raw the sunlight was upon the scarcely created grass. A new world, material without being real, where poor ghosts, breathing dreams like air, drifted fortuitously about….”

Hoping for other things besides God always leaves you wanting more. You go from one level of achievement to the next never finding satisfaction – never finding true fulfillment

What Should We Hope In?

Psalm 42 exclaims:

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

What a beautiful passage! Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him. God is the one we should trust to save us from whatever situation. God is the one we should focus on. God should be our God and nothing and no one should take his place.

Here are a couple more passages:

Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord their God. (Psalm 146:5)

But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love (Psalm 33:18)

No one who hopes in You will ever be put to shame (Psalm 25:3)

My prayer is simple:
Lord teach us how to HOPE IN YOU ALONE!!!

Well here’s a thought: what if there really is no such thing as “falling in love?” Falling in love seems like an accident you were helpless to avoid. I don’t know about you but that somehow feels dangerous. Christ commanded that we should not be mastered by anything and I certainly don’t like the idea of being captive to some supernatural force. And there’s something off about crowning one of the most captivating, consuming and powerful experiences with nothing more than fickle emotions as changeable as seasons and notions of ‘missing them when they are gone.’ Doesn’t it all just seem terribly off with the mighty, unshakeable love portrayed in the Bible?

I believe that love is a choice and always a choice. The idea of falling in love is a dainty and romantic idea but one that falls miserably short of the true depth, height, and width of the glory and gore that is truly tasted on the battlefield of the unconditional, inseparable love of Christ we have been called to receive and give freely in return.

This love is inexorable.

It’s the love that gives grace away to the weakest places and undeserved forgiveness to the unforgivable. It is the love that identifies with the failure of the other and still chooses to lavish and sing love over them all the more. This love does not come by finding the perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. It is love that is first patient so that it can be grateful for this person as God’s ‘masterpiece in progress’ because it sees them first as a redeemed child of King Jesus.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in attraction and quirky similarities that knit affinity. I believe in sweet gestures that tie and bind. I believe in the best friend of lovers that do not have to say a word to speak to each other, that keep the other smiling even when they are not there and that do not just move each others feet to dance but move the soul, in the sun and in the rain. These are all ravishing, exquisite moments in the story. But love that is enduring, everlasting and fulfilling is the embers that stay glowing steadily long after the burst of passionate flame. And that love is always a choice.

Do you know why it has to be? Because this is how our master, the One whose very name is Love, demonstrated and defined love. And we know that the servant is no better than the master. We walk the same road to overflowing and abundant life.

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession…”
1 Peter 2:9

God chose Israel not because of any merit of their own. Not because He fell in love with them because their wittiness, beauty or intelligence impressed Him. In fact, when He asked for obedience, they disobeyed. God gave them promises dependent on their willingness to do what He asked and they did not do it. But He did not give up on them. It is the glory of His name that was at stake and is also the glory of His name that is at stake now when we do not choose to love as He did. God entered into a covenant relationship with Israel and so He took the responsibility upon Himself and in countless ways He bore with them, corrected them, punished them, goaded them and brought them to the promised land.

God drew us out of loving-kindness and He chose us to bear His name. And He committed to being whatever we needed; a pillar of light, falling bread, calamities that struck to bring us back and a sacrifice to free us from death of our sins.

This is how we know what love looks like.

We love because He first loved us and it has to be our choice too because if we claim to know God but are not constructive and slow to lose patience but instead are possessive, anxious to impress with inflated ideas of our own ideas; pursuing selfish advantage; keeping account of evil or gloating over the wickedness of the other person then we are not born of God. And all those things are choices we have to make every moment of every day.

For God so loved the world, He gave and when you give of yourself, love happens. When Love became manifested He lived to die, He bent low and washed feet. You don’t always end up giving because you love. Sometimes you end up loving because you give.

Love is devoted, not because of the person, but despite them. Love empties to fill never asking “Am I being served?” but always seeking all the ways it could bless. Love is the choice that does not cease because ceasing to love would mean ceasing to exist. Love is not something we give with our eyes on ourselves but we love others as if we are soldiers of Christ; we love faithfully, fully and honestly. We love with no limits to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope. This love can outlast anything because our commitment is not to the other person but to God Himself who weighs the hearts. We are committed to Him to meet the expectations He has called us to as spouses, sons, daughters, fathers or mothers because this is the holy, blameless sacrifice we can offer to Christ. This is the love that is built on a rock. This, as St Paul says, is the one thing that stands when all else has fallen. It is love rooted in the One thing; in Christ above and before all. And a life contemplating the love of Christ becomes a life being the love of Christ, to the point where we must love in every situation or we deny ourselves and God who dwells in us.

“And whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men…”
Colosians 3:23

Passionately serving Christ alone, makes us loving servants to all; when the eyes of the heart focus on God and the hands on washing His feet alone. We must see all our relationships as a choice to serve God, to ask “How else can I serve you?”, to honor the things precious to God and in the process be transfigured and transformed more into Love Himself as we grow in obedience and die to our desires and instead pour out and bleed love. Soldiers of Christ bleed. Christ bled out and His blood washes, His blood saves; this gift received in communion gives us the strength to count each unmet expectation and hurt in our relationships as a gift. A gift, yes. It is the chance to learn to pray for instead of complain about, and to bear with instead of burden. Even in the pain we can now love and give thanks for the person because they have given us that one sliver of a chance, like the thief on the cross, to steal salvation and dance in fountains of grace as one more room in our heart yields to the potter’s moulding hands. The world and our nearest and dearest will know us by this love of Christ that can never love too much.

The selfless, servant-hearted love is not something you fall into. But a way you choose to walk. So don’t fall in love. Rise up and walk in love. Forgive me if I sound like your next jaded cynic for not believing in falling in love. I think you might find that it is quite the contrary, because this love is the most mystical, divine and enchanting of all. This is the love that sparkles with the very radiance of the heavenly romance of Christ and His beloved – us.

Greater love has no man than this indeed.

It’s war.. but not the type you see in the movies:

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)

The outcomes of these battles will shape you and the person you become so it’s important to know how to fight and overcome. The first lesson in learning how to overcome sin is:

Know That You Can’t

Yep – the first step to overcoming a sin you are struggling with is to know that you have absolutely no power to do anything. It sounds disheartening but it’s actually really good news because God does have the power and He is fighting on your behalf:

“The LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.” (Exodus 14:14)

“Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this [sin], for the battle is not yours, but God’s.” (2 Chronicles 20:15)

This is why we need to cry out to God in the name of Jesus Christ to save us. Only He can set us free and only He can give us victory. However, at the same time, He wants to see us fight for Him. He wants to see us fight for purity, for humility, for obedience, and for all of the good things that He freely desires to give us. It’s not that we earn anything that He gives us but He wants us to struggle against sin.

In the epistle to the Hebrews, we are charged with this:

You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin. (Hebrews 12:4)

It is in this striving and fighting against sin that we advance in our walk with God.

So cry out to Him to give you the strength and grace you need to overcome: “For whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)

Know Who You Are

Another way to renew your mind to help you in your battle against sin is to know who you are in Christ.

Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? (Romans 6:16)

You are either Christ’s or you are Satan’s. There is no in between. You have to decide: who’s are you? Are you God’s in Christ? Do you belong to the King of Glory who desires nothing but the best for you, the One who loves you unrelentingly, the one who takes all of your broken pieces and uses them in the most magnificent and beautiful way? Or do you belong to Satan – the deceiver, the thief, the one who wants nothing more than to see your ruin and destruction?

Know that you are making this choice every time you choose righteousness, and every time you choose sin.

Little children, let no one deceive you. He who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous. He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God. (1 John 3:7-9)

Understand What Sin Truly Is and Realize It’s Consequences

A lot of times we slide so easily into sin because we take it lightly and we don’t realize what it will do to us. Sin is falling short of doing things God’s way. The Bible says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights” (James 1:17). Well satan can’t create gifts like God can, he can just take a perfect gift from God, pervert it, and entice you with it promising that it’s better. Don’t let him!!!

Sin is not better than God’s way, but a lot of times we let ourselves get tricked into thinking that it is. When you make this choice you’re telling God that you know better than Him. You are calling what is evil, good:

Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! (Isaiah 5:20)

Furthermore, did you know that God has invested so much of Himself into You that when you sin, the demons taunt God with your fall. When David fell into sin, Nathan the prophet came to him and said just that:

because by this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme (2 Samuel 12:14)

Simply said, sin will mess you up. It breaks God’s heart to see you hurt yourself, so there are consequences established to help deter you from sinning. If a serial killer gets thrown in prison, and sincerely repents, God will forgive him, but that doesn’t mean God will let him go free – he’s still in prison. This is the case for all sin – lying, cheating, and the other things that seem less offensive than killing people. All of these sins all have earthly consequences, even if we sometimes don’t get caught and think we’re getting off scotch free.

I’ll finish up this section with the following verse – it always gets to me:

For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries. (Hebrews 10:26-27)

Repentance

“As long as sin is a state of being separated from God, then repentance will be the means of returning to God. As long as sin is being opposed to God, or being unfaithful to Him, then repentance will be the means of reconciliation with God.” – H.H Pope Shenouda III

Repentance isn’t just a feeling or an emotion – it’s a visible change in the way you live your life.

Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. (Romans 6:12)

It’s walking according to the Spirit and not according to the flesh.

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. (Galatians 5:16-17)

It’s continuing to get up no matter how many times you fall with the hope of victory in Jesus Christ.

Do not rejoice over me, my enemy; when I fall, I will arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD will be a light to me. (Micah 7:8)

It’s learning to love God more than sin. It’s choosing God… it’s choosing His way.

So cry out to Him with sincerity telling Him that you don’t want to have the love of the sin in your heart, but that you’d rather love Him with all of your heart.

If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. (Psalm 66:18)

And more than anything, remember what you’re fighting for:

He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son. (Revelations 21:7)

It doesn’t talk about the kind of guy who knows about how to get a girl into bed, or the kind of guy who spends all of his time in the gym and is so built that it looks funny when he walks, or even the guy who thinks that providing financially for his family is the only support that is required of him.

This is not what it means to be a man.

This video illustrates what a real man is: Men who fight fiercely and passionately for His will to be done, men whose sole desire is to give themselves to those things that are eternal, men who long to look this world in its evil eyes and defiantly exclaim, “I want no part with you. I serve the Lord Jesus Christ.”

It sounds intense. It sounds dramatic. It sounds like a big deal.

It is.

HE IS.

How many of us sit in front of Netflix, Xbox, Facebook, or some other form of idle occupation, which numbs our very cores, day after day, night after night, wasting our lives.

“We are not called to trifles.” That one hit me. A trifle is defined as a matter, affair, or circumstance of trivial importance or significance. We give our time, energy, and emotions to things that are worthless – to things that don’t even begin to compare to growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. Even if we feel that we are being productive by pursuing success in whatever path we have chosen, how much of our lives are we living for Him, and how much of our lives are we living for ourselves? Are we doing everything for the glory of His name?

We need more men in this world. Men who are passionate about God, about love, about life! He created this world for us to find Him in it. He created this world so that we would be conformed to His glorious image- not so that we’d sit around and wonder why we’re bored.

God is actively searching for men:

“So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one” (Ezekiel 22:30).

Did you get that? The Creator of the universe, the Alpha and Omega , the Everlasting God, The LORD… cannot find a single man among all of the ‘men’ that He has created.

Why?

Because everyone is looking out for number one. Everyone is doing those things that are most comfortable, the things that suit their fancy. We’ve come to love pleasure more than we love God. We’ve come to be negligent and lazy with our masculinity, with our lives.

We need to encourage each other to grow in Him.

We need to sharpen each other by keeping one another accountable:

“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17).

We need to have an intimate relationship with the Word of God.

Reading and studying scripture is essential. The Word of God is living, powerful, and active. It is the Sword of the Spirit with which we fight with. What good is a soldier without his weapon? What good are we without His Word:

“I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the wicked one” (1 John 2:14).

We need to live with purpose. We need to be the men He created us to be. The men He longs for us to be. We need to show Him that we really do love and adore Him like we say.

How?

We need to learn and obey his commandments.

From the words of King David, a real man, a man after God’s own heart:

“Be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man. And keep the charge of the LORD your God: to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His judgments, and His testimonies” (1 Kings 2:2-3).

Obey Him. Follow after Him. Pursue Him with all your heart. That’s what being a man is all about.

Don’t waste your opportunity. This is your chance… prove yourself a man.